YOU!

I love you. I know I do, and so do you. But you nag. you nag alot. You make everything seem like it's a heavy work load. You are not suppose to do that but you do. You rarely appreciate. you favour the ones you like, always. When they are wrong too. They are always wrong. Give me a break. You degrade those you hate. All the time. You whine. You think we will give you a heart attack. God dammit. I think it's the other way round. you need to stop. You take break and then you blame it on others. You curse. You irritate. You annoy. Then you blame it on us. You blame everything on time and circumstances. You don't make an effort. I am getting sick of it. Nobody can stop you. not me. not anyone. Darn you.

ATTENTION: Fat Girl Walking!

Okay so I am fat, and I know it. So, when it doesn't bothers me why should it bother you? I live a very happy life, but at times by being fat get on my very nerves. In an Asian country and in societies such as our being fat is just unacceptable, a big no-no. It doesn't matter if you are naturally that way or you simply don't care. Here, it's more about people caring then yourself. I am five foot eight and I am fat. I am naturally healthy with a broad structure but I have the fat label going on me too. This often puts me in a very inferiority complex-y thing-y. To top it all off I am wheatish in complexion, and that's apparently an even bigger fault in my otherwise quite nice character. The surprising thing is I don't feel lowly about this with my friends, and all my friends are slim smart creatures, it happens with family. Yes. They criticize me and taunt me over my fatness all the time. When I diet they make an issue out of that too, going:
'ohoo someone's dieting'
 over and over. and yes, it's extremely annoying. And these sort of comments make me give up my dieting and just go as I am.
I can assure you nature wise i have all those nice qualities one looks for, but does being tall and fat makes you generally ugly? The situation sometimes distresses me. I mean I am not one of the girls that run after guys or are keen about getting married and settled or even about getting attention, but does nothing matters, really? Are looks really it? And do fat people have none? Is beauty all about getting attention, getting a man or attracting a nice wealthy family to fit as your in-laws? NICE.
The thing is I don't want to be called pretty or beautiful, I just want to able to live with the way I am.

open book

People seem to have an extremely keen interest in other people's life, and so here I am opening my life to the world. My life is a tale of misery mystery and happiness all cooped up together. I am not really what you call an open book in reality but this is becoming one open book. Sympathize, criticize or just advice. Read on readers for it's an opportunity of a lifetime, more or less.